Penguins' Front of Antarctica

NEWS FLASH: We have received reports that a group identifying itself as the Penguins' Front of Antarctica (PFA) has seized control of the North Pole as of late last night. A group of some 30 Penguins have taken Santa's fully loaded sleigh, and elf hostages, and holding them at ransom.

Details are sketchy at this point but the group's demands have been made public. They have demanded that thirty million pounds of mackerel be delivered in non-consecutive unmarked fish to the South Pole by the start of the new year or "the fat man gets it".

There is no word at this point on whether anyone has been hurt but a handful of elves are being held at snowball-point. Whether or not the PFA has Santa or one of his body doubles hostage is also unclear.

An rail cart rescue attempt earlier in the evening has met with failure however as the PFA had iced over the Polar Express tracks in anticipation of the rescue attempt.

It is unclear at this point of the relation between the PFA and the Antarctican Penguins' Front (APF) which was responsible for the polar bear cave bombs this past Novemeber. We will continue to keep you updated as the situation develops.

Merry Christmas guys. :P